Change for better??

Assalamualaikum reader(s),

It's been awhile since my last post, I've been hiatus like I'm dead lol but ayyyyyy here I am, hello friends! How ya'll doin? I hope ya peeps are doing just great over there. I'm doing okay I guess? I don't know. It's complicated but I'm okay, I'm still alive what?!

I miss blogging. I miss the good old days. I still remember I always bukak tudung, salin baju without mandi after I got back home from school then cepat-cepat cop PC kat rumah before anyone did just because I want to share my story on my blog. Most of my posts were about my days in school you know like I'm telling about my friends, homeworks, boyfriends??? Hahahaha I often posted my ex's picture on my blog back then, saying that I love him, his mine, I miss him and stuff like that. Omg  I am literally cringing so hard right now like ewwww Mia! LOL

I personally like to write so much. I have like 6 or 7 journals beside my bed fyi. Not that I write every day though but I always express my feelings there like anything at all especially when I'm sad or down, I'll just grab a pen in my journal then express my feelings into words and yapp it felt good man! You should probably try this out.

So about today....

Today is a nightmare or a dream come true to all UiTM students because... well because today is the day. What day? Result exam keluaq!!! I'm like ffffffffffff I'm dead! For me, it's a nightmare kinda day cus I didn't get what I wanted, not that I have a target or anything I didn't have high expectations but wasn't really impressed of my GPA for last semester which I suck and I have never ever felt this down about my GPA before so yay me! I'm so gonna kick my own ass. Oh yeah, before you assume anything, I didn't failed any subjects *thank god*.

I think I didn't work hard enough sebab tu dapat result macam a piece of sh*t. Wait, can we swear on Blogger? Am I gonna get sue or something? Hahahahahaha meh whatever. You know for a person like me, you will need to be rajin like 100% if not you'll get what I got today lol. Tbh, I really worked my ass off so freaking bad, I studied like crazy but my GPA wasn't satisfying much. Why ahhh always like that since diploma weh! Eh eh but my diploma years was uh-mah-zing compared to my degree life uh hm... damn I miss my diploma life except for my ex- boyfriend, let's not miss that. That's uncool girl, I hope he's not reading this. If yes, then I don't know what to say but.. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahaha

So today, I kinda texted my friend, Syima. I told her about my GPA and she told me something that seemed to upset her then I realized like "wow, today is such a miserable day to the both of us" hahahahahaha like I don't know man, maybe bukan rezeki kita kot, Syima? But let's work our ass off for our future just like we promised...

Then suddenly we talked about cafes... cepatkan manusia berubah? Hahahahahahahaha we just love cafe hunting even though we don't have money, so to our future husbands please be noted ok! (macamlah ada orang nak kat kita kan Syima)

Ok back to the topic..

I guess I've done so many bad things as I didn't read Al-Quran that often, I eat junks, I lalai dengan internet, I tak tutup aurat betul- betul ermm.. okay this is getting awkward. What I meant is I should probably reflect myself you know, it's for my own good. Hmm.. I had a relationship with someone for goshhhh I can't recall la pulak but I broke up with him and I felt very bad. It's just that I don't know how the hell I somehow turned out to be a jerk and I felt nothing towards him whilst he loved me so much that he cared about me.. A, if you're reading this I am very sorry. You were the best and I hurt you like you don't even have feelings, I just had to be honest and let you know how I felt about our relationship. I'm very sorry and I mean it. Just so you know everything happens for a reason. I hope you will find someone deserves you so bad and I bet she's gonna be so grateful to have someone like like you. Let's pray for that, okay?

Nevertheless, I want to change. I want to improve myself to be a better person. I mean like I said earlier, everything happens for a reason. Whatever happens, mesti ada hikmah (wow I sounds like an ustazah right now) It means that Allah bagi ujian dekat kita because He cares, He wants us to keep on berdoa but heck yeah tak bolehlah kan if berdoa ja, we need to work our ass off in anything we want lah and of course we need to be a better person In Sha Allah everything will be just fine and you'll get what you wanted. So yeah Mia, let's change you and work hard for your future girl!

Goodbye & Sayonara